Outsider

I don't know if it's because I am married or too old or just unpopular... For the first time, two or more co-workers kept me completely out of the loop tonight on a happy hour or birthday party or...well, I don't care what it was because I was never invited. For some reason, I feel cheated, the low man on the totem pole, unliked and disappointed. None of those are the feelings that I needed to add onto my already stressful day.

Could I have attended? Maybe, maybe not. The invite is the compliment that one never minds refusing. It says, "you're included, you belong and we enjoy spending time with you". Why does this bother me? These people don't really care about me and it's just a job. My real focus should be on my wife and child; the people that aren't so transparent in my life. Now, don't expect any sympathy from me if you come in hungover tomorrow...

Some days, I find it difficult to keep it all together. As we get closer and closer to conclusion on some very large and lengthy projects we are starting to slip. We're starting to slip collectively and I don't know how to right the ship. I don't even know who the captain is. Is it me? If so, we need a new one quick because this captain is losing his grip on the mainsail.